What You Focus on You Create More of

What works wonders for a relationship? For anything? A positive attitude. Hear me out before you roll your eyes.

Focusing on what you like about yourself instead of what you hate about yourself is self-helpery 101.

It’s impossible to feel bad when you’re praising yourself for hitting a deadline you didn’t think you could make, or admiring your naturally long and luscious eyelashes in the mirror, or patting yourself on the back for successfully following through with a week’s worth of homeschooling your child.

If you spend the majority of your day focusing on your worries and anxieties, you’re going to create more worry and anxiety. On the other hand, when you focus on things that make you happy, you’re going to create more positive energy, and thus, a happier life.

What you focus on you create more of.


Was My Soul Resurrected on Easter Sunday?

I woke up with this calming sort of energy on Sunday. I don’t know if it was the sunshine coming through my windows or the many glasses of champagne I had the day before, but I felt capital E excited about life.

My husband was skeptical. I normally wake up instructing him not to touch me or talk to me until I’ve had my oat milk latte.

“I’m turning over a new leaf!” I told Jake gleefully while twirling around in my sweatpants. “I’ve decided to have a good attitude about life instead of bitching about everything that’s going wrong!”

And I meant it. I’m on day 4 of waking up with that same feeling of optimism, and let me tell you, it is quite the vacation from wasting my headspace on trivial things like freaking out about the scattered mail on the kitchen table.


I spent Sunday legitimately enjoying myself. We had an Easter egg hunt for our little boy and smiled as we watched him run around outside looking for plastic eggs filled with candy. I played football (and golf!) in the yard with Jake. I never do that. I usually read my book or scroll through Pinterest while the two of them play their boy sports. I washed the dishes without getting grossed out (or annoyed!) by scrubbing the sink. I spent a good portion of the day ideating my future clothing line, and it was truly the happiest, most like myself feeling I’ve had in a very long time.

I laughed.

When was the last time I laughed? Like laughed-until-I-cried laughed? It had been awhile.

Parting Thoughts

Remember the scene in Sex and The City where Charlotte says she’s so happy she’s terrified? I’ve felt like that way a few times in my life. I’ve also felt undeserving of happiness. And I’m not referencing back to a decade ago or a few years ago. I’m talking about as recently as last week.

Which makes me question…

Why do we feel like something always has to go wrong for life to feel right?

If this quarantine is doing anything, it’s forcing us to look inward and feel what we’re feeling instead of masking our inner thoughts with the busyness and distractions of work — aka the “hustle and bustle of life.”

I never thought life should be lived in that hurried (and so not enjoyable) state. I don’t think it should be lived perfectly still either. There’s a healthy mix somewhere in-between that we’ve all been desperately scrambling to seek out. Maybe when we get out of this, we’ll find it.

Concluding Tip

Find things that make you laugh, and do it often. Reach out to people who make you feel good, and keep in touch with them. Do things that make you happy, and do them every day.

Thank you for reading! May your Wednesday be filled with glimmers of excitement. If the sun isn’t shining where you are, put on a pop of color and watch your mood lift immediately.

Be you.

XOXO,

Ashley

Mental Health Resources I Swear by

Therapy Thoughts podcast

SimplyBe. podcast

The Upside of Being Down book

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