When you hear the term 30-something, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
I see a white woman wearing jeans and a button down shirt, sweeping her kitchen with a big smile on her face, while her three young children run around the island.
Because society has told us that is what good 30-something women do.
Am I wrong?
Eudie Pak wrote an article in the Huff Post way back in 2013, “The 30-Something Female Experience: What Is It Really?” and it is highly relevant to modern women of today, and perhaps even more relatable now. Give it a read when you have a minute.
Before interviewing various women in their 30s, she sets the tone for the piece by saying this:
“Being a female in your 30s is a bit perplexing — you’re not so young, you’re not so old — but even beyond that, it’s a period of time that seems to be a quieter, less socially-discussed endeavor compared to the decades that sandwich it.
When you think of women in their 20s and 40s, it seems easier to define them in intangible terms. The 20s chick is known for exploring and taking risks. The 40s chick has a rep for coming into a higher level of independence and self-empowerment.”
Feedback from her sources were as follows:
Tracy, 40 years old, said:
“When 40 became the new 30, 30 became invisible. It’s a decade of major transition, a bridge from the broke hot mess of your 20s to the fabulousness of your 40s.”
Angela, 32, says the 30s are an awkward and hectic transitional period that simply isn’t sexy:
“The 30s get the shaft by society because it is the middle child. The 20s are a time to experiment and experience. By your 40s you have it dialed in.
But your 30s is that awkward adolescence of figuring out how to get your family and yourself out the door in the morning, kick ass at work, have a healthy dinner on the table that evening, connect with your partner but not skip story time for the kids, and still find time to get in a run to recover your pre-baby body or maintain a healthy figure. It’s not pretty as you’re trying to figure this out.”
And It Got Me Thinking…
Maybe we are subconsciously rushing through this decade of life because we want to be seen. And culturally, good 30-something women take this decade off — per say — to stay at home, raise their children and fill their days with interior design sketches of their homes.
Think about it. We are always in a hurry. We rush to get to work, to get home from work, to get married, to have a baby. To have another baby. To start a business, to climb the corporate ladder and to all around look and feel like we have life figured out. Right now.
It reminded of this quote I saw on a coffee mug somewhere on the Internet: “Nature doesn’t hurry. Yet everything is accomplished.”
To Which We Can All Relate
I badly wanted my first book to be published before I turned 30 because it sounded good. When in reality, the book wasn’t ready to be completed because it was still being written. My mindset wasn’t there, yet I was willing to risk putting a lesser quality manuscript out just so I could say I published a book before I turned 30.
Today, I beat myself up for taking too long to write a feature instead of being proud of accomplishing something of value. I sell myself short when outsiders compliment me. And I blend in when my instincts are telling me to stand out.
What would happen if we focused on what we are doing well instead of fixating on what we are lacking?
What you focus on you create more of. So, if we choose to focus on our strengths and goals instead of our worries, we will be doing ourselves a huge favor. Both in the short-term and in the long-run.
Our 30s can be whatever we want them to be — despite what society, movies, Instagram, and our friends and family envision them to be.
Maybe our 30s are a time of rediscovery and reinvention. Maybe it’s a time of gaining an honest confidence that will carry us through the rest of our decades.
I think our 30s are for building a foundation of what we want our lives to look like. I think it’s about solidifying who we are and who we want to become, letting our instincts (not external pressures) guide us.
Thank you for reading! Happy Tuesday. It is hot as hades again this week. I’m on the hunt for up-and-coming writers and not-yet-discovered newbie authors for a project. If you know of any, do let me know.