Welcome to The Roundup

Welcome to The Roundup, a Sunday series that discusses the BEST OF in Mental Health, Motherhood, Fashion and Friendship.

I decided to send today’s newsletter to all subscribers to see if anyone would like to make the switch to receiving Sunday + Tuesday posts (as opposed to just Tuesday). If not, ignore this and I will see you on Tuesday.

Mental Health

Kim and Kanye are getting a divorce. Many sources say the split has been a “long time coming” due to Kanye’s many public outbursts and rants, stemming from his bipolar disorder.

And it got me thinking. Celebrities being more open about their mental health issues is a good and a bad thing. Good because their admittance of mental health struggles will allow others to open up about their own mental sufferings.

Bad because these types of (very serious) confessions can cause the attention whores of the world to simply claim they have a mental illness, sprung out of absolutely nowhere, as a result of their favorite singer posting about a panic attack they had on Twitter.

And because anxiety, depression, multiple personality disorder, bipolar disorder, psychosis, etc. are not universal math equations that can be “figured out,” literally no one knows who’s being truthful (aka who really needs help) and who is being dramatic.

Just a little food for thought.

Also if you’re looking for a free mental health resource, New York Project Hope might be a good one.

Motherhood

I’m going to admit something that may make some people (moms, namely) gasp in disbelief:

I don’t like mom friends. What I mean is, I have tried to connect with other women based on the (terribly vague) common factor that we are both moms, and it just doesn’t work out.

It took me several years to figure out why this approach isn’t working. Because I’m not looking for “mom friends.” I’m just looking for friends. Getting together with a group of moms for the sole purpose of discussing what stroller brand is the best or how someone finally got her toddler to sleep in his own bed just is not my idea of a good time.

What I’m looking for is friendship. Real, raw conversations that can only be had with the right group of gals who just Get It, mom or not.

Maybe my friendship standards are too high? Because the friends I do have really are the best types of friends that anyone could ask for. Maybe I’ve hit my good friend limit.

I guess I’m admitting this in the hopes that others who feel the same way will feel seen, and will stop signing up for their Saturday morning Mommy & Me walk group that they secretly dread going to.

(An Amazing) Related Read

Why I’ve Stopped Trying So Hard To Make “Mom Friends”

Fashion

I started a “No Buying New” challenge on January 1st.

For the next year, I’m vowing to only buy used clothing if and when I’m in need of something. I really don’t think this will be that hard because I love used designer goods and consignment shops. But one year is quite a long time.

Anywho, if anyone wants to join me in this personal sustainability challenge, do let me know. I have the inside scoop on some fabulous resale apps, sites and shops.

Friendship

You’re more likely to succeed in you’re new year’s goals (or any goals) if you have an accountability buddy.

It can be a friend, an app or a personal trainer/life coach, but the point is to create accountability with someone who has a similar goal as you. This New York Times article explains it well.

In it, Dr. Tim Church, an exercise expert & chief medical officer for Naturally Slim, says this on creating (lasting) healthy habits:

“In my years of working with thousands of people, there’s one thing that drives accountability more than anything else: If you want to keep people doing a behavior, get a buddy.”

Another good takeaway from the piece:

“While the presence of an accountability buddy adds some gentle peer pressure, the key is to focus on the behavior, not success or failure.”

In case you missed it…

In past week’s newsletters, I talked about how deciding you’re worth it could be the answer to all of life’s problems. I also had an entertaining interview with a writer/creative director/sober enthusiast. Here they are if you didn’t get around to reading them:

• Deciding You’re Worth It

• This is How Richie Mental Healths

Mantra this week

You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it.

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Be you.

XOXO,

Ashley