How Would Your Life Be Different If You Were Twice As Confident?

The experiment that will motivate you to stop bitching and start living

When I get into a funk, I pretend that I’m Lady Gaga. I put on my oversize sunglasses and pink lipstick to get myself in a Gaga state of mind, and I lead the day with curiosity and excitement instead of skepticism and worries. I blast her hits in the car and sing my lungs out until my throat hurts. Why? Because confidence gets me out of my funks — and it can get you out of yours, too.

If you were twice as confident as you are today — right now, reading this — you would stand taller, you would feel prouder of yourself, you’d have a hotter body, a more positive outlook on life, better sex…your relationships would feel fuller, your professional life would feel more grounded, and you would seize the day instead of slogging through it.

Judi Holler, bestselling author and self-improvement expert, has become my spirit animal lately. Her podcast consistently motivates me to take charge of my ambitions, and makes me believe in myself when I’m not doing so hot in the self-worth arena. Highly recommend giving it a listen.

The other day, I came across her Instagram post titled, “What choice would you make if you were twice as confident?”

To which she suggested…

“Grab your journal, light a candle, set the vibe, and write yourself a letter — ‘If I were twice as confident I would…’

Her examples:

  • Leaving the toxic friendship

  • Skipping drinks at dinner

  • Asking for what you’re worth

  • Traveling alone

I did this little experiment yesterday (it took all of 3 minutes), and this is what poured out of my mind:

If I were twice as confident, I would write this newsletter without overanalyzing how it’s going to be received. I would set up the phone call with a book illustrator to publish the coffee table books I wrote over the summer — without feeling guilty for spending money to make it happen.

If I were twice as confident, I would dedicate my Sundays to networking with vendors for my clothing label instead of watching movies.

Question For You!

How would your life be different if you were twice as confident? What would you pursue? Who would you reach out to? What would you wear? How would people respond to you? What does confidence mean to you?

Let me know! I WANT TO KNOOOWWW. Send me an email me at

Sip Sip is a weekly newsletter dedicated to making moms feel SEEN in the realm of mental health. As the editor, I’m committed to easing your mom woes — one newsletter at a time — through advice, lessons, and humor.

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Keep being you.

Xo, Ash