How Does it Feel To Be 36? A Candid Interview!

I asked & she answered

Nov 5, 2020

Why are women weird about getting older?

Is it wrinkles? Is it not being where we “thought” we would be at this stage of life? Is it everything?

This highly entertaining interview comes to you from my dear sister, whose 36th birthday was at the tail end of last week. I was curious how she felt about being closer to 40 than 30, and thought you guys may want to know, too.

From utilizing botox to blasting rap music, there are some great getting older tips here to keep in your back pocket. Grab your cappuccino and enjoy this very relatable read.

11 Questions on Getting Older, Flawlessly Answered by T.R.A.C.I

Today is your 36th birthday. How do you feel about it?

“To be honest, I am not feeling that thrilled about it. In fact, I've been trying to ignore the fact that it's my Birthday. 36 just SOUNDS old. But, on the other hand, I'm trying to be optimistic because I think I still look pretty good for being 36 whole years of age.”

What are you most looking forward to in your 36th year of life?

“I'm looking forward to making positive changes in myself. I have two littles now, one who is 2 years old and mimics everything I do and say. So, being cognizant of my words and actions are important. I'm excited to really figure out WHO I am as a mother.”

What wisdom do you have to those of us in our early 30s?

“Wisdom....oh boy. Don't ever take life too seriously (be able to laugh at yourself at any given time). It's OK to not be where you thought you'd be at 30! Things happen how and when they are supposed to.

The bottom line is…Don't rush yourself or your life. Just take one day at a time. And utilize Botox — it's there to help us all!”

You are a full-time working mom of 2. Give it to us straight.

“Let your house be messy sometimes. Laundry can wait, dishes can wait, mopping can wait, being late is OK, showers are optional, hair washing downgraded to twice weekly, realizing a little person smashed blueberries on your pant leg or finding remnants of yogurt on your shirt once you arrive at work translates to you being a good mom. Not taking SHIT from Daycare when your 8-week-old comes home with huge scratches from other kids is necessary.

Just make sure to find time to enjoy the family that you have created! Work is work....leave it at the door.”

What is a typical day in the life for you?

“I'm not sure I understand...people HAVE ‘typical’ days? Wow...interesting....ok....well, I would say I usually hit snooze about 6 or 7 times before taking the plunge to get out of bed. That is, if my newborn hasn't already demanded that WE wake up to eat.

Preparing the bottle, gathering pump supplies, and of course, starting the coffee all while the baby is screaming (hoping the 2-year-old doesn't wake up) and trying to do all of this by a single nightlight (again, so the toddler stays asleep) because NOBODY needs that in the mix yet.

The ‘getting ready’ process with the three of us IS starting to get a little easier. That's not taking into account the spilled milk on mommy's freshly dry-cleaned comforter, or the meltdown over not being able to wear our sparkly plastic heels to Daycare, or even the make-up dusted all over my recently washed fur bathroom rug.

At some point, we make it to the car (usually 12 minutes later than needed) and head out to Daycare. The work day.....there's just not enough time to even explain anything that goes down there. And honestly, no one cares! Just know that it's always a day filled with ignorance, stress and headaches.

Getting home is a WHOLE other fiasco. Toddler hanging on my legs, baby screaming because she hasn't had a bottle in 7 minutes, Little Baby Bum on full blast — usually Wheels On The Bus or these new rap kid songs that I'm not sure how I feel about.

I'm trying to shove food down everyone so I can experience the release of all releases, as my milk production seems to heighten when I have NO time to pump. Bath time follows, which typically ends with a dumped bucket of water all over the floor, or water crayons ALL over the bathroom, maybe even baby lotion squirted on my poor fur rug (it takes a REAL beating).

Then, I utilize my husband to get the toddler to sleep while I feed the infant AGAIN. Hopefully, there isn't an emergency trip to Kroger or Costco needed, so that I can start thinking about calming down for the day. If all goes well, lights are dim, lunches are packed, laundry is folded, and the floor is Swiffered (I'm a freak about the extremely dark and shiny wood flooring).

Eventually, I will collapse in our newfound apartment (a Queen mattress in the middle of our sectional couch downstairs so that I don't have to haul up and down steps all night long while pumping is still an activity of mine). Wake up and DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.”

What is most challenging about your life right now?

“Definitely TIME. I always feel like there's never enough TIME. It gives me literal anxiety even THINKING about it! Look at it this way.... I'd love to be a Pinterest Mom....but it turns out I'm more of an Amazon Prime Mom (if you catch my drift).

I get home from work around 6PM on a good day and by the time I stop to take a breath, I realize my toddler should have been sleeping about 47 minutes prior. I have no time to make smiley face sandwiches, turtles made out of kiwi and grapes, apple and banana owls, etc.

Dress up days at Daycare...of COURSE I remember those on the WAY to Daycare so my kid will be the one crying in the corner because her mommy failed her. If I just would have had a little more time to prepare.”

What is the best part of your life right now?

“The best part of my life right now is being able to sit back at night when everyone is sleeping soundly and just admire the beautiful little things that my husband and I have created. Being able to truly appreciate having these little people to come home to every day.

I could cry on demand thinking about how lucky we truly are to have the life that we have. Every day isn't easy, but those tough days make you realize and appreciate what you have in front of you.”

Why do you think women hate admitting their age?

“I hate when I look in the mirror and notice new wrinkles. Even smile lines piss me off — and those are signs of happiness. I find myself, oftentimes, thinking about death and how I may not be here for my (hopefully) grandchildren because I waited longer to have kids of my own.

It scares me that I won't be as limber and physically fit for my own kids when they are a little older. I also am not where I want to be professionally and feel like by the time I AM, I will be looking at retirement options.”

What makes you most proud of the person you are today?

“Proud....I am extremely proud of obstacles that took some serious effort on my end to overcome. I honestly never saw myself getting married and especially never saw myself being capable of having/raising children.

Going from a full-blown eating disorder that controlled my life — paired with an addiction to alcohol that controlled my life — to the person I am today — new people in my life would never believe it!

I completely lost control of my life and myself for a short period of time, but have regained that control and honestly made myself a better person than before because of the journey it took to get here.”

We all feel the overwhelm of life, but it's more pertinent in women (ESPECIALLY mothers). How do you cope with your anxiety?

“Well, my anxiety is a newfound thing, so I don't feel that I have the best answers YET. I DO think that mothers are hit harder with this because their responsibility list always appears to be much longer. For example, when I ask my husband to help out, his response is: ‘I gave her a bath and changed her diaper!!!’ Moms always handle the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, doctor appointments, Daycare/School necessities, clothes shopping, etc.

I haven't mastered the art of coping with my anxious days yet. But I do find that asking for help has actually been beneficial. Understanding that I CAN'T do it all...ALL the time.

Instead of festering all of that anxiety, I have been leaning on my teammate (husband) and demanding that I....need....help! Sometimes, crying a little at night when everyone is asleep actually helps to release some of those emotions that actively build and build throughout the day.”

You are a hot piece of ass. How do you stay so attractive?

“Well...I THANK YOU for that compliment! I DO try to maintain myself a little. I'm not going to take credit for working out or anything like that because THAT is ridiculous and it just hasn't happened in YEARS.

I eat pretty good (most of the time) and am blessed with good genetics, apparently. Currently, after having my second baby about 10 weeks ago, I feel like a Pillsbury crescent tube that has exploded (hence my love for bulky sweaters).

I need to tighten up a little and lose that weird, doughy belly that giving birth leaves behind. I wear make-up because it makes me feel better most of the time.

I've also been listening to Hip Hop, R&B, and rap music to really make myself FEEL younger, because everything you project is a direct reflection of how you truly feel inside....and I want to feel young, wild, and free — mostly because I'll never be those things again, but it feels liberating!”

Well. I will be listening to way more rap after this. And I will be asking for botox for my next birthday. Jake? Are you reading this?

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this post. If you have someone you’d like to nominate to be interviewed next, or you yourself want to be interviewed, email me!

Be you. Listen to more rap.

XOXO,

Ashley

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