Happy Self-Mantra Monday

What birthdays reveal

It was my 31st birthday yesterday. And as one of my friends flatly pointed out, I am now in my thirties. 30 was kind of like a try-this-decade-out-for-size situation, and now I am actually in it.


Birthdays are a funny thing. On one hand, they are celebratory of the past year’s achievements and how-far-I’ve-comes. On the other hand, they are an inescapable mirror looking us dead in the face and showing us where we’ve failed.

Then again, life is in the eye of the beholder.

At the end of the day though, birthdays are representative of who we are and where we are in that particular moment in time. In other words, it doesn’t matter if our same-aged friend or stranger on Instagram has hit or missed some life milestone or not. This is our life being measured by us.

We have our own timelines, goals and aspirations for the lives we want to lead, and on days that are not our birthdays, it’s easy to get caught in the negative thought loops of, “I’m not doing enough,” “I’m not successful yet,” “I haven’t found my purpose yet.”

Happiness Is Not A Destination

Happiness is not a destination. You don’t work and live and play for 30 years and then wake up when you turn 31, 35, 40, etc. and let out a sigh of relief that you’re finally happy.

Happiness isn’t constant. Our definitions of happiness change and evolve as we do, so it is quite impossible to “arrive at happiness.” And I think many of us refuse to grasp this concept, or we simply don’t understand it.

We have to remember that life is a sequence of ups and downs. That is the only thing that doesn’t change. Our relationships will have ups and downs. Our careers will have ups and downs. Our financials will have ups and downs.

There will be moments where we are so incredibly happy that we can’t believe this is our life. And there will also be moments where we feel so defeated that we will want to throw in the towel forever.

The sooner we accept this instead of fighting it the better.

In sum, birthdays are the perfect reflection point of lessons learned and opportunities ahead. What differentiates an OK life with an awesome life is not measured by what we have — but who we have it with.

And it got me thinking…

Being surrounded by good people — at work, at dinner parties, in your own home — is paramount to our happiness. And while we know this is true, it’s important to check in every now and again to monitor who is rooting for us and who is holding us back.

That said, this week’s mantra is:

“Stick with the people who pull the magic out of you, not the madness.”

Sometimes we need to give ourselves a reality check on who we give our time and energy to, and how well that’s going. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: True friends are the pinnacle of life.

This is not to negate family members or anyone else in our lives. My point is that surrounding ourselves with good people is the foundation that enhances every other area of our lives.

Birthday Takeaway

Life is like a book. Some chapters will make you laugh until you cry. Others will devastate you, and others will inspire you. And some are reserved for your birthdays. What matters is who you’re spending those chapters with.

So. Stick with the people who pull the magic out of you, not the madness.

Like Frank Gallagher says, follow the ABC method — Always Be Celebrating.


Happy Virgo season. If you’re into horoscopes, here is your reading for the week.

Thank you for reading! Have a fabulous Manifestation Monday, and I will see you tomorrow. And as always, if this newsletter helps you feel good, please do share it and subscribe. The point of these is to make all of us feel better and live brighter. I’m out!

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Be you.

XOXO,

Ashley