Happy Monday, Dear Readers.
Someone stupid once said, “Misery loves company.” And actually, no. Misery doesn’t love company. Misery loves miserable company. Big difference.
I feel genuinely happy lately. It could be the change in the weather (definitely is the change in the weather), my acceptance of SAHM life (for now), or my Pistola Denim jeans that make my legs look miles long and make me feel like a New York Style Queen strutting down the sidewalk on my way to meet Sarah Jessica Parker for lunch.
Whatever it is, I’ll take it. I do believe it’s a combination of things (never is just one thing) and I also believe we need to acknowledge when we’re feeling happy/content with our lives so we can keep that hip-hip-happy-do-da vibe going for as long as possible, keeping in mind the things that are making us feel blissful, light and airy.
Over the weekend, I was talking to a dear friend about judgement. Why we judge, where that feeling of judgyness comes from, and why we feel the need to stay in a conversation when it’s headed for pessimistic, pit in your stomach, why-am-I-engaging-in-this yuck-feeling territory.
And I think it’s because the opposite feels unfamiliar—dangerous even. We have become so accustomed to complaining about how busy we are, how pissed at our husbands we are, that we never arrive at a solution because all we’re doing is raining on our own parades.
We have normalized being miserable. And I’m not standing for it anymore.
In a world where complaining has become the norm and negativity spoils what should have been a fun party, I couldn’t help but wonder…
Are we allowed to be happy?
I think all forms of judgement are rooted in fear—Fear of not fitting in, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of saying out loud what it is you’re really thinking, fear of being fully yourself.
Is it jealousy? Projection? Do we judge out of boredom the way stress eaters eat or fitness addicts run their tushes off in order to deal with the pain and worry of modern life?
Take these common Judgy Wudgy Was a Bear statements:
Ew, did you see what she was wearing? (I wish I had the balls to wear that)
Their relationship is so weird. (I’m insecure in my own relationship)
Why would she let her kid eat that? (I let my kid eat jelly beans for breakfast)
I can’t believe she pays someone to clean her house. (I wish I had someone to clean my house)
Do you see how easy those are to decode?
All life really comes down to is being comfortable enough with yourself to be yourself. And if that self is happy right now and wants to proclaim it on high? Don’t let Bitchy Barbara take that away from you.
I think when we allow ourselves to admit happiness when she falls upon us, it gives others permission to admit their gleefulness as well. I for one could stand not to be caught dead in another semi-circle of She Wolves taking turns on whose life is the hardest.
Trust. Life is more glorious when we let the sun shine on not only ourselves, but our peers as well. I promise you that.
In closing
Let’s be nice girls. Let’s root for each other. Let’s be happy for one another’s successes. Let’s not just say we’re happy for one another—let’s actually be happy for each other.
And lest not forget. Frowning gives you wrinkles. And I would go so far as to argue that being a Negative Nancy not only ages you, but takes years off your precious life as well.
Something to think about the next time you catch the happiness bug. In this situation, we can say it and spray it.
Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful week.
Keep being you.
Xo, Ash
Yes please. All of this. The support for our innerselves, our outer female friends and finding the gratitude minus the attitude! xx