3 Questions I Ask Myself Every Day To Ensure I Feel Fabulous

Also Happy (Hopeful?) Election Day

Building healthy habits has been top of mind lately. Positive, routine habits are really going to come in handy these next few months as quarantine life is still very much a real (and maddening) thing.

Why?

Habits keep us grounded, accountable, and motivated — things we need during times of crisis, yes, but also through the good spells. Things like waking up early, working out, making an excellent latte, and getting dressed in something that makes you feel confident are all great (and easy to adopt) habits to start your day calm and ready.

SO! In light of the sun showing itself an hour earlier, I’m giving you my 3 go-to questions I have gotten into the groove of asking myself as soon as I get out of bed.

3 Questions I Ask Myself Every Morning To Start My Day Off Awesome

• What will make me feel proud of myself?

• What will excite me?

• What am I grateful for in my life?

#1 What will make me feel proud of myself?

I slot this one into 3 different categories — work + motherhood + pleasure.

For work, I open up my Google Calendar and type out 3 things that must be done that day. This usually looks like: (1) Blog post for client (2) Column article & outline for magazine + follow-up with editor (3) Social media strategy for client + outreach for features.

For motherhood, I designate time — PHONE & COMPUTER FREE — where I read, play and hang out with my kid. No interruptions and no distractions allowed.

For pleasure, I cook a new dish, call a friend, read a book, and have a glass of wine — usually in that order. If Cy and Jake are asleep and I am not yet sleepy, I’ll watch a few episodes of something girly (right now it is Desperate Housewives) to remind myself that I am ME before I am a wife, mom, writer, friend, etc.

#2 What will excite me?

Ideating/planning my future clothing brand has held my energy and attention for a good 6 months now — something to be proud of as I am the queen of fickleness.

I spend pretty much all day daydreaming of what the clothes are going to look like, where the champagne shopping events will be held, and who my team will become.

This daydreaming is key in keeping me motivated to taking small steps everyday toward turning a dream into reality.

Unrelated but related note on this: I am a firm believer both in playing as an adult and in designing a career that truly does not feel like work. And I think everyone should think this way.

#3 What am I grateful for in my life?

This one hasn’t come as easily to me as the other 2 yet, but it’s improving.

Despite what “journaling” enthusiasts proclaim, I’m not pulling out a journal at night to write down things I’m thankful for. Why not? Because it doesn’t feel natural. Instead, I sit quietly on my couch with my dog on my lap, and go over little things that happened during the day that made me smile.

For example, Sunday it was spending time in the kitchen baking, making zucchini bread with Cy. Yesterday it was waking up early without feeling tired (a rare occurrence!). This morning it was portioning out my yogurt/granola/banana dish perfectly — not too much and not too little — satisfactory, if you will.

When I force myself to say things that you’re supposed to say, like “I’m grateful for my family and my home,” it doesn’t feel genuine to me. They need to be specific, perhaps even weird, everyday things — like filling the car up with gas feeling lucky that I have a car to drive, instead of complaining that “I have to go get gas.” Or plucking my beard hairs to reveal a smooth chin.

Ending Reminder

Pandemics/plagues come but once every 100 years. Clearly, the dragging on of this lockdown hasn’t been fun or easy to deal with. But knowing it won’t last forever is damn well reassuring.

Getting into the habit of telling ourselves how good we have it instead of how bad we have it is mind shift work that is seriously worth it.

And to be clear, I’m not wading around in some blissful, relaxed pool of awe and wonder all day. These reminders serve as mental life savers during my 3-14 freak-outs during the day.

Quick Hit Tips

• Instead of focusing on decreasing stress, focus on increasing happiness.

• Aim for progress, not perfection.

• When you feel your blood boiling about something as trivial as spilled milk, remember that our time here on Earth is a GIFT.

• Don’t take life so seriously. Let the ink stain on your new cashmere sweater roll off your back every once in awhile.

3 Questions To Ask Yourself Each Day Recap

• What will make me feel proud of myself?

• What will excite me?

• What am I grateful for in my life?

---

Thank you for reading! May the best President win.

Be you.

XOXO,

Ashley