Simple truth: If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it.
How many times do we complain that we don’t have what we want, or that something is too hard, or too inconvenient to get?
A lot. We do it a lot. I would go as far to say that we probably do it every day.
The cold hard truth on this one? It’s usually our fault if we don’t have what we want — be it a better job, a wardrobe more representative of who we are, a more exciting relationship, etc.
Why? Because we simply aren’t going after it. If we don’t put in the work to get what we want out of life, why do we kick and scream when we don’t get it?
Is This The 30-Something Crisis?
I’m at a mental crossroads right now with what to do with my career. Let me rephrase that. I’ve been at a mental crossroads with what to do with my career my entire adult life.
I want to turn this newsletter into a business that provides women with clear, brief, daily advice on how to enjoy life more, and I can’t figure out how to strategically do that yet. Meanwhile, I am obsessing over starting a clothing line for reasons I’m not entirely sure of other than it excites me to dream about and I believe I can do it. All I know is that it feels wrong not to pursue these things.
And that is my primary motivation to sucker punch the self-doubts that keep creeping in, and instead, just do what feels innately right.
Believe That You’re Worth It
If you’re facing an uphill battle right now — whether it’s related to your health, a difficult work project, or an unresolved issue with someone important to you, don’t quit because it’s hard. Keep going because it’s worth it.
That said, here is what I do when I feel like quitting:
Put mascara on — Weird, right? I look and feel so sleepy without eye makeup on. Putting mascara on gives me energy to tackle the day’s challenges more confidently.
Put a blazer or kimono on — Being dressed in a power piece like a blazer or a kimono puts me in a boss state of mind. I have been getting major fashion inspiration from Selling Sunset, and I highly recommend watching this terrible trash reality show for style you have never seen before.
Put my phone away — For a few hours, for an entire day. Trust me. We are so overstimulated with messages and emails and notifications pinging us all day long, that it’s no wonder we can’t focus. Turn your phone off and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish.
Move my body — This one may be over-said, but it’s over-said for a reason. Go for a walk. Do some squats and pushups. Do anything that gets you out of your chair.
Read my ideal day in the life! If you haven’t done this exercise yet, take a 10-minute brain break to do it. It will refresh your mind and motivate you. Plus, it’s fun.
Call someone I trust to talk it out — Sometimes You can do it! reassurance from a friend is all we need to stop being scared of doing something “different” or scary.
Don’t talk about it — be about it.
Whether you’re dying to get out of your comfort zone but are too afraid to take the plunge, or you simply just feel pulled to do something different, just go for it.
What is the worst that can happen? Someone says no or it doesn’t work out?
We are worthy of going after our dreams. Even and especially when someone is telling us not to.
Side note: I divulge my personal stories in hopes that it helps other people go after what they want in life — despite the obstacles and despite the preconceived notions from outsiders. It’s just a bonus that it is also therapeutic to release what’s going on in my mind onto paper. If your mind is noisy right now, I highly recommend sitting down and writing everything that you’re feeling. Tara Schuster does this every morning as a preventative measure to keep her anxiety in check. I think it’s brilliant. And it’s free!
Thank you for reading. Have a good Tuesdee.